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Life, or something a lot like it
Last month on My Life: I got a job. I started a course. I downloaded Tinder. Again. I quit the job. I finished the course. I deleted Tinder. Again.
Despite the boring summary, I feel like things have changed. Albeit microscopically.
Instead of putting the same effort into a CV as I did into making pencil cases out of Pocky boxes, I chose to play narcissistic date roulette again and hone my use of the ‘How you doin?’ GIF.
Normally, this would distract me for at least a month before I got fed up of the superficiality of it all, and returned to binge drinking for entertainment.
Not this time: It lasted 16 days. And I’m not drunk right now.
It’s not because the internet is rife with sexual deviants who have decided to use their opposable thumbs to tug themselves off and video it simultaneously. Nor is it because it has become acceptable to ask a stranger for a blowjob based on the fact they liked your picture. Although, let’s face it, neither of those guys are doing men a favour in the dating stakes.
The reason is that for months my entire life has been conducted through screens.
I say it like it isn’t the norm. Update status, Snapchat your day, IG your food, Whatsapp your genitals. It’s modern life for many.
Much more of my time has been invested in a virtual reality. I work remotely and rarely have to speak to colleagues beyond emails and online chat. I date remotely and have ‘conversations’ via text. I don’t have to spend any ‘real time’ with people at all.
I miss real people.
I think a lot of pressure was taken off my awkward social skills in the advent of growing social media. I didn’t realise how distant it had made me. I’ve favoured Whatsapp chats over phone calls. My phone is always on silent. I express myself through sarcastic updates and my last two relationships have been mainly conducted remotely over Skype.
This year has changed me though.
In the spirit of personal development, I told a guy I was texting that we should have a chat, get to know each other properly.
His response was to text me diary entries of his day until I asked him to kindly stop.
Maybe switching my phone off and going outside more is a better start.
Writer, philosopher, originator of urban myths and deliverer of ghetto fables. I discovered early on in life that I was a magnet for the surreal and wonderful. It's my duty to share it with you in the vain hope you will either learn from my example, or feel less alone in a crazy world. Life is a marathon and I run funny. Watch me go. For editorial pieces, copy or collaborations contact me at email@example.com Check out my editorial portfolio: www.runslikeabeigegirl.com/portfolio You can also see my copy projects at: www.cargocollective.com/seemaiyer