The Menstruation Myth

Period, period, period, period, period. Are you comfortable with it yet? When I was 17 years old I tried to send my brother to the local pharmacy because I needed tampons. Before he could step out of the door I could hear a mumbled conversation and then a resounding WHAT, before he was loudly told to get upstairs and my father stormed into the living … Continue reading The Menstruation Myth

British Comedy

Goodbye Europe. I always loved being inside you. Since Thursday’s vote I’ve been a whirlwind of emotions. Mainly disbelief and embarrassment. I didn’t vote for Cameron and can’t say I’m sorry to see him go. But I was able to put my personal feelings aside to vote for something I believed in. A unified Europe. Unlike some voters, who decided the thinking part was optional and eenie … Continue reading British Comedy

Biological Duty

Having a womb isn’t a good enough reason to have kids I once dated a guy who informed me it was my biological duty to have children. Yes. He said that. Think of my uterus, if you would, as a bread maker that came with my ‘kitchen’. The kitchen is great, but wouldn’t it be more of a kitchen if there was a rising heap … Continue reading Biological Duty

D-sensitised

I think I am 95% desensitised to penis. When I was younger and I used to worry that my enjoyment of uber violent films meant that I could find myself in a Die Hard style scenario, and would simply sellotape a pen knife to my back and throw myself into the mix without batting an eyelid. It was a theory that was somewhat proven when I got held … Continue reading D-sensitised

My So Called Life

Life, or something a lot like it Last month on My Life: I got a job. I started a course. I downloaded Tinder. Again. I quit the job. I finished the course. I deleted Tinder. Again. Despite the boring summary, I feel like things have changed. Albeit microscopically. Instead of putting the same effort into a CV as I did into making pencil cases out of Pocky boxes, I … Continue reading My So Called Life

Rebel Rebel

I clearly do not like being told what to do A paramilitary tried to train me for a cross country run once. I thought running with someone else would be fun. Wrong. The clue was in the fact he was paramilitary. As a result, he thought barking at me to run faster, run backwards, slow down, go faster, would motivate me. I stopped about 2k … Continue reading Rebel Rebel

Know your role

Everyone is good at something…right? As I stood there watching the young man writhing on the floor, lip locked with a rubber IKEA oven mitt, I wondered what the hell I was doing here. My friend Abner has been encouraging me to go to auditions, to network, make contacts with script writers. “You’ve got to get out there and follow your dream!” He was right. Consequently, … Continue reading Know your role

So this is Christmas

  John Lewis and shiny stuff would lead most of us to believe that this is the most wonderful time of the year. Christmas can be pretty wonderful: friends you haven’t seen in years, time with family, spreading joy, giving and receiving, great food, the list goes on. This year my attitude, normally on a par with Buddy the Elf, is a bit more like the … Continue reading So this is Christmas

Tinderlude

Every-time I think I’m out, I get pulled back in again. When I first met my ex I told him he should go on Tinder. He’s a good looking guy and was single. I thought he would clean up. I hadn’t thought I’d be dating the guy. I was off to Mexico a month down the road. Plus he had seen another man’s penis on my phone. Long … Continue reading Tinderlude

Itchy feet

Margaret smiled at me. She looked very mum like.  I always run into well meaning mother figures when I’m abroad. She and I were the only passengers on the airport shuttle into Budapest. We got talking about the plane delay. Complaining is a great way to start a conversation it would seem. We got on the topic of why we were in Hungary. She was … Continue reading Itchy feet