British Comedy

Goodbye Europe. I always loved being inside you. Since Thursday’s vote I’ve been a whirlwind of emotions. Mainly disbelief and embarrassment. I didn’t vote for Cameron and can’t say I’m sorry to see him go. But I was able to put my personal feelings aside to vote for something I believed in. A unified Europe. Unlike some voters, who decided the thinking part was optional and eenie … Continue reading British Comedy

Biological Duty

Having a womb isn’t a good enough reason to have kids I once dated a guy who informed me it was my biological duty to have children. Yes. He said that. Think of my uterus, if you would, as a bread maker that came with my ‘kitchen’. The kitchen is great, but wouldn’t it be more of a kitchen if there was a rising heap … Continue reading Biological Duty

D-sensitised

I think I am 95% desensitised to penis. When I was younger and I used to worry that my enjoyment of uber violent films meant that I could find myself in a Die Hard style scenario, and would simply sellotape a pen knife to my back and throw myself into the mix without batting an eyelid. It was a theory that was somewhat proven when I got held … Continue reading D-sensitised

Imperfections

We all deserve a clean slate. The new year is a big deal for some reason. Successfully orbiting our sun matters to us.  I can’t say I know how difficult, or dangerous it was, but I’m sure it warranted a drink. Manchester is currently the shining example of how ham we go on a NYE celebration. I have little recollection of my own NYE, but from the accounts of … Continue reading Imperfections

Tinderlude

Every-time I think I’m out, I get pulled back in again. When I first met my ex I told him he should go on Tinder. He’s a good looking guy and was single. I thought he would clean up. I hadn’t thought I’d be dating the guy. I was off to Mexico a month down the road. Plus he had seen another man’s penis on my phone. Long … Continue reading Tinderlude