Connection

It’s easy to be anonymous in London. It’s one of the things I like about large cities. I gravitate towards places where I can hide in plain sight. It creates the illusion of belonging without actually having to interact. The tube is an extension of this anonymity. People cram into carriages, eyes straight ahead, glued onto the paper or their phone. The only goal is … Continue reading Connection

The Trust Paradox

It’s recently dawned on me that I can’t get that trust balance right. I want to be trusting, but I think the worst. I can ask a stranger to watch my things while I go to the bathroom, but I guarantee that seconds later I’m envisioning my identity being stolen, my laptop being trashed and someone trying to insert their genitals into the USB port … Continue reading The Trust Paradox

Signs of Singledom

Being single comes with unique characteristics “Are you single?” In the right context, it’s a promising question. It was half term Friday. I was mid-ludicrous story and being loud and drunk, when a relative stranger inquired into my relationship status. All it took were these four words to turn that my smile into my ‘I wish I could stab you with my eyes’ look: “I can see why.” You’ve … Continue reading Signs of Singledom

Situationships

‘Hey. Remember me?’ Every now and then a guy I’d completely forgotten about will resurface on my WhatsApp or chat. You know the type. The ones who send a mandatory maintenance text that outwardly says ‘sup’,  but really means ‘I haven’t forgot you, we could still hook up. These never ending situationships that went nowhere have started boomeranging back in the form of monosyllabic text reminders … Continue reading Situationships

Biological Duty

Having a womb isn’t a good enough reason to have kids I once dated a guy who informed me it was my biological duty to have children. Yes. He said that. Think of my uterus, if you would, as a bread maker that came with my ‘kitchen’. The kitchen is great, but wouldn’t it be more of a kitchen if there was a rising heap … Continue reading Biological Duty

D-sensitised

I think I am 95% desensitised to penis. When I was younger and I used to worry that my enjoyment of uber violent films meant that I could find myself in a Die Hard style scenario, and would simply sellotape a pen knife to my back and throw myself into the mix without batting an eyelid. It was a theory that was somewhat proven when I got held … Continue reading D-sensitised

The Choice is Yours

Making a decision doesn’t come easily to every one. The other day I was watching Master of None when Sylvia Plath’s The Bell Jar came up. It has been years since I read the book. It sticks in my mind because I started it on a comedy improv night. Unsurprisingly, all the suggestions I yelled out were pretty bleak as a result. They had to work for the laughs. The fig … Continue reading The Choice is Yours

Rewiring my Radar

Even the dickheads teach you something. “He fucked her.” The one thing you have to love about London is that if you dare to converse openly in the street every Tom, Dick and Harry will give you their two pence worth. As Galia and I made our way to Rebel Bingo, I started rehashing the whole did he/didn’t he of my ex’s supposed infidelity, and … Continue reading Rewiring my Radar