Adult Fun

Clubs are playgrounds for adults? No, PLAYGROUNDS are playgrounds for adults. The most fun I’ve had in ages was an alcohol free romp in a children’s playground. I love this kind of fun. It’s free. Why am I not constantly running around screaming loudly whilst being chased by my adult friends? Maybe because embracing your inner child in this way, is a sure fire way to elicit their … Continue reading Adult Fun

Situationships

‘Hey. Remember me?’ Every now and then a guy I’d completely forgotten about will resurface on my WhatsApp or chat. You know the type. The ones who send a mandatory maintenance text that outwardly says ‘sup’,  but really means ‘I haven’t forgot you, we could still hook up. These never ending situationships that went nowhere have started boomeranging back in the form of monosyllabic text reminders … Continue reading Situationships

Haters Gonna Hate

Why have some people got their panties in a bunch about loving Pokemon Go? As a Pokemon fan from way back, nothing has made me happier than the chance to update my pokedex, get out there and meet other like minded nerds. We’re adorable. Think of us like asexual doggers, wandering around parks and scenic routes, looking for invisible creatures, which we then get mad excited about and … Continue reading Haters Gonna Hate

The Menstruation Myth

Period, period, period, period, period. Are you comfortable with it yet? When I was 17 years old I tried to send my brother to the local pharmacy because I needed tampons. Before he could step out of the door I could hear a mumbled conversation and then a resounding WHAT, before he was loudly told to get upstairs and my father stormed into the living … Continue reading The Menstruation Myth

Biological Duty

Having a womb isn’t a good enough reason to have kids I once dated a guy who informed me it was my biological duty to have children. Yes. He said that. Think of my uterus, if you would, as a bread maker that came with my ‘kitchen’. The kitchen is great, but wouldn’t it be more of a kitchen if there was a rising heap … Continue reading Biological Duty

Rebel Rebel

I clearly do not like being told what to do A paramilitary tried to train me for a cross country run once. I thought running with someone else would be fun. Wrong. The clue was in the fact he was paramilitary. As a result, he thought barking at me to run faster, run backwards, slow down, go faster, would motivate me. I stopped about 2k … Continue reading Rebel Rebel

Day of the Dead

Over the last few few months I have been trying rewire the way I look at life and focus on the positives rather than my relationships and other failures. It has been a mourning period for me in many ways. I have spent months putting to rest my expectations. Trying not to be angry about the plans that I had given up so easily, and the life … Continue reading Day of the Dead

Menstruation Myth: Trump Edition

What bleeds for 5 days and doesn’t die? Your mum, you tool. When I was 17 years old I tried to send my brother to the local pharmacy because I needed tampons. My brother, being the absolute sweetheart that he is, said sure and took the money off me and headed to the door. Within 5 minutes I could hear a mumbled conversation and then … Continue reading Menstruation Myth: Trump Edition

All the Symptoms

I’m not a hypochondriac. Just a magnet for exotic diseases yet to be discovered. Since I discovered WebMD, my resolve to never visit another doctor, or hospital, has been stronger than ever. The only exception being when I nicked an artery, and realised that an industrial strength plaster wouldn’t cut it. I’m scared of doctors. I won’t take medication. I hate hospitals. I could easily be patient zero in the … Continue reading All the Symptoms